Wow! I havent been on in a few months. Ive been kind of busy lately. Went to Chicago last month for the weekend had a blast. Im applying for jobs because thats really where I want to be. I need a fresh start. I applied at a animal job today and they emailed me back already. Ive never moved to another city, let alone out of state so Im not sure how to go about finding a job or an apartment. I decided that Im going to work with animals for awhile and photography and eventually emerge them. Im really into photography too. Im so excited that I actually have plans, I have goals.
As for everything else... well when we went to Chicago I kind of fluked on my diet and its throwing me way off but I have lost about 25 pounds averaging about 2 pounds a week which the doctor said is a healthy weight loss. Im getting back into it though I felt better about myself and happier when I was losing weight and eating healthier.
Kris and I have started biking. Its kind of like our together time. When we are home we are taking care of the house or the dogs or something and occasionally watch tv so this is our no interruption time. We just ride bikes and goof off.
My reason to breath
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
ahhhhhh
Valentines Day is fast approaching and I already got Kris's gift in the mail. Hard not to give it to her or tell her about it because I tell her everything. But Im making decorations from my scrapbooking left overs. I love Valentines Day! Not much going on, my mother came to visit two weeks ago. Im pissed at her because since I wont meet the guy thats supposedly my dad, which I know in my heart hes not my mom is just with him to get money, but anyways she brought him down thinking she was going to be slick so I would talk to him. Sometimes the shit my mom does you would think she hasnt been a mom for 40 years. She pissed me off with that little stunt so now Im not speaking to her.
Kris and I are thinking of taking a trip somewhere. Im getting cabin fever something fierce and she hasnt had a vacation since aug 09. Were thinking Chicago again but who knows. Theres not many vacation spots around Iowa. I just know I need to get out of here before I go insane. Im thinking of takin a photography class. I love taking pics but Im not exacly good at it. I just know I have over 500 pics on my iphone of random stuff and a box full of photos from my digital camera. Since I cant be a vet I want to get into photography!!!! I cant imagine if someday one of my photos made it into a magazine or something but thats a long journey ahead but anything is possible.
Kris claims she has a plan to get me out of this state but wont tell me what. Says she has to get promoted first and Im not to worry about all that. She likes to suprise me so I think she has something up her sleeve.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
week in the knees wednesday!!!
So today, Im having a mushy kind of day. Must be Valentines in the near future. Ive worked out for 30 minutes today! yay me! Now Im just patiently waiting for 10:30 when my one and only gets home. I miss her when shes not here and before work I miss her before shes even gone. Ive been writing poems today and drawing lovey dovey stuff. At any random time Ive stopped and thought to myself how did I get so lucky to find the one. Everyone disaproves but I cant help to see that as more exciting. I feel its as though its our world everyone else is just in it. We dont need anyone else. Is that bad? Should you depend on someone that much? Im always told thats not healthy? but what is healthy? as long as you love each other whats it matter? I always think about her dimples and they way she just stares at me sometimes and I ask "is there something on my face" she replies no your just so pretty and I love you and my heart melts. It will be a struggle to get married concidering everyone in every state almost insists on being in our buisness and telling us who we can and cant marry. Where do people get off? Were not hurting anyone and Id rather see two gays HAPPY then to see a straight couple in a bad relationship. Everyone asks why we would marry they say whats the difference besides having a marriage certificate? I say its a promise. Its something unexplainable when you know your in love with someone so much that you can promise to love them for the rest of your life. Thats something fantastic and only people in love would understand. My friend let me read her story she is trying to get published and it relates to me in so many ways. I didnt want to give Kris a chance because shes a girl but I did and now I found the one I want to be with forever. I havent completed Jens story yet but its killing me to know if Jules gets with Graham!! We are hopeing to move to another state where WE can start new. Here people know us as the straight girl with the gay chic. How that works is beyond me. We want to move where we can start fresh as a WE or a US not just Teresa or just Krystal. Im scared to move as Ive barely even traveled out of the state but with Kris by my side I know I will be just fine. Ive overcome alot of challenges because of her and with her. When she was in a bad car wreck I was the only one at the hospital everyday. She was afraid she was going to lose her eyesight because it had crushed the side of her face but I assured her she wouldnt and she would be ok. She was worried she would never get to see my beautiful face and smile as she said but I knew and she was just fine. I hope that in the future people will change there views of gays and transexuals. We are people too just because you dont agree with what we do doesnt mean we dont have feelings or a right to live just like everyone else. It could be a gay that saves your life one day or a crossdresser would you want them to let you die simply because your close minded and dont want them near you. Today was just my mushy more then ususal type day and I cant imagine going to sleep without Kris next to me (even though she snores loud and sometimes I wake up in a panic thinking a freight train is coming through) and waking up next to her every morning. I cant imagine laughing at the dumbest things with anyone else but her. My heart wouldnt be a heart without her. :)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Failing at Loseing weight
Today, Im having a complex. One of my new years resolution was to get back in shape and work out. Kris and I started working out last May and it was good for awhile, we were losing weight and then the FAIR came and it went downhill from there. Both of us are SLIGHTLY unhappy with our weight but its more of I want to do this for myself thing. My family and hers are the type to point out everything "oh your putting on weight" me:"good to see you to mom". I started gaining weight when my sister passed away I was so sad and depressed and eating was my comfort. As long as I was eating I wasnt thinking about how Ill never see my sister again or hear her voice. Last year is when I noticed my clothes didnt fit and I wasnt happy when I looked in the mirror. So Kris wanting to lose weight also suggest we diet and workout everyday, and it sucked real bad at first I felt like I was dying. We went to the lake and walked and I did the workouts they made us do in gym class and we started losing weight and it started to become fun. We would laugh and before we knew it we were running 4 miles and Kris would make me feel like I ran a marathon. So far my resolution is going ok. I worked out for 20 minutes yesterday and 30 minutes today. Ill gradually get back into it concidering I have a bad knee. Kris well has done nothing. Im hopeing that by spring I will have lost some weight but we will see. Im determined and can do anything I put my mind to but I like everyone else likes food, and Valentines is comming up and its our tradition to get the heart shaped champagne cake. Everyone in my family is on the bigger side so Im concerned this is how Im suppose to be not that theres anything wrong with it but I like myself personally better when Im smaller. Kris insists on keeping junk food in the house which doesnt help either but she claims Im grouchy if all Ive had all day was a salad. Fruit and healthy food is so expensive and being the state Im in its not like fresh fruit is here year around but I can see why people go for the junk food just to feed two people on healthy food is around 100 bucks and we could get junk food meals that leave left overs and everything for cheaper. As soon as I start losing weight again it will motivate me before like the last time but until then Im not motivated for this at all. I can see why its hard to lose weight its easier to just set there but in the long run it will make it harder for you. A little motivation can push you a long way!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Day 3 of 2011
Its day 3 of 2011 and here I am starting my first blog. Im not sure exacly how this works but Im sure Ill get the hang of it. Im starting this blog because the past couple of years have been hard for me, from my parents divorcing, to my mother being coniving and trying to tell me my real dad isnt my real dad to sadly my sister passing away in July 2009. They have made changes to my life which to me is always weird that other people can have such a big effect on YOUR life. Some changes have been good some bad but they are all for a reason. The one that hurt the most obviously was my sister passing away. She was like a 2nd mom to me and I miss her terribly. It seems like it has been so long since Ive seen her but my heart still hurts like the day she passed away. She was a inspiration to me. I looked up to her in so many more way then she could of possibly ever known. Shes part of the reason I stayed with the person that Im with today, but we will get into that later. They say your sister is your best friend little did I know that until it was to late. I know my sister is in heaven looking down on me and is proud of what little accomplishments I have done. Shes some of the reason why I now feel like I need to document ever little aspect of my life, because you never know what tomorrow brings so its good to live in the moment. As far as the rest of my "family"? Well, we dont talk much if at all anymore. They chose to judge me when they clearly have no right considering my parents divorced and my mother left my dad for another man. I now call my friends my family and appriciate them more then ever. I have very few friends but Im ok with that considering they have lasted through everything because they were ment to be in my life. Everyone tells me that I should talk to my family because I may regret it, but they dont understand that they pushed me away. I didnt chose to love the person that I do it just happened and nobody agrees with it. Im fighting a uphill battle. I wish my family would understand like my sister did and just be happy for me. I wasnt raised in any religion so why they decided to be against me I have no clue. I just know that the only that I love who I love and thats it. By having this blog I hope to meet some new people who understand and if not well its always good to get my feelings out there even if nobody accepts them.
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