My reason to breath
Monday, January 3, 2011
Day 3 of 2011
Its day 3 of 2011 and here I am starting my first blog. Im not sure exacly how this works but Im sure Ill get the hang of it. Im starting this blog because the past couple of years have been hard for me, from my parents divorcing, to my mother being coniving and trying to tell me my real dad isnt my real dad to sadly my sister passing away in July 2009. They have made changes to my life which to me is always weird that other people can have such a big effect on YOUR life. Some changes have been good some bad but they are all for a reason. The one that hurt the most obviously was my sister passing away. She was like a 2nd mom to me and I miss her terribly. It seems like it has been so long since Ive seen her but my heart still hurts like the day she passed away. She was a inspiration to me. I looked up to her in so many more way then she could of possibly ever known. Shes part of the reason I stayed with the person that Im with today, but we will get into that later. They say your sister is your best friend little did I know that until it was to late. I know my sister is in heaven looking down on me and is proud of what little accomplishments I have done. Shes some of the reason why I now feel like I need to document ever little aspect of my life, because you never know what tomorrow brings so its good to live in the moment. As far as the rest of my "family"? Well, we dont talk much if at all anymore. They chose to judge me when they clearly have no right considering my parents divorced and my mother left my dad for another man. I now call my friends my family and appriciate them more then ever. I have very few friends but Im ok with that considering they have lasted through everything because they were ment to be in my life. Everyone tells me that I should talk to my family because I may regret it, but they dont understand that they pushed me away. I didnt chose to love the person that I do it just happened and nobody agrees with it. Im fighting a uphill battle. I wish my family would understand like my sister did and just be happy for me. I wasnt raised in any religion so why they decided to be against me I have no clue. I just know that the only that I love who I love and thats it. By having this blog I hope to meet some new people who understand and if not well its always good to get my feelings out there even if nobody accepts them.
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I think is a very brave post. Not many have the courage like you to share something so bold over the internet and stand by your choice. I applaud you for being brave in all aspects of life.
ReplyDeleteI have always been a firm believer in family. My sense is different than most though. You may start out with one family but as time passes people leave your life and others enter. It's the way of life. God allows new people in your life for a reason. If your family isn't accepting you can pray that they'll come around but you should wait for them to do so. Anything that makes you unhappy isn't something you should subject yourself to.
The world is not meant to be an unhappy place. If you've found love and comfort with something someone doesn't agree with that is their loss to no longer have you.
It's a shame that more do not allow happiness in their lives but choose to mock those who do.
I'm glad you started to blog. It's an outlet for many and a place of solitude for most. I look forward to more of your journey and stand by you not only as a friend but as a person who understands struggles.